A subtle shift

30
Nov

The last day of November.
A subtle shift has been taking place inside me this Fall. I have taken to heart the words I wrote on the “Try Again” post a while back.

I have spent a great deal of my life worrying about having people like me, and it has been exhausting and crippling. It’s not like I’m now going out of my way to aggravate people. There’s just an awareness that I have spent way too much energy in my life concerned about what others think of me, and there has been an inappripriate inner punishment of myself when I look like I might fall short. There is a realization that this is not what God desires for me. It is not what Jesus modelled for me.

I am feeling stronger. I’ve been exercising, enjoying the sensation of a stronger body which connects to a sense of a stronger, sturdier sense of internal will.

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